On Love
My heart feels a bit burdened, my mind a bit weary. Weary from striving; striving, over-thinking, analyzing. Did I do that right? Say it right? Did I respect the cultural norms, adequately express my gratitude, demonstrate my joy in being here? Sometimes it feels like there’s little space left for me to be myself. Overcrowded by thoughts, my heart struggles to let down it’s guard and to simply be in the moment. As I witness how my host family, the kids I work with at the school, the community of believers who I am surrounded by treat me, I am learning that this ongoing wrestle is quite unnecessary. I stumble over my words and they treat me in love. I slip up in a cultural custom and they treat me in love. I come across subdued and they treat me in love. I come up short in the areas that I think give me value, yet I am received just the same- in love.
In my walk with the Lord, I think it is much the same. I often find myself striving. Striving to act right, speak right, appear right, live right. Striving to be right. My mind is so full of striving, thinking, analyzing that there is seldom silence in which the Lord can speak. I think this stems from an effort to deserve love, a desire to receive love. And in this my weakness is made uncomfortably apparent. For I can do nothing to deserve love, and at the same time have already received all that is love. I cannot be loved more and will never be loved less. God displayed His great love for me when out of anything and anyone He could have created, He chose to create me. He displayed His great love for me when He forsook His Son on the cross, so that He could bare the punishment that I deserve, die the death that was I meant to die. He displays His great love for me each day, both in the quiet moments and in the loud; when I am rejoicing, grieving, unfeeling; when I am joyfully following His direction and when I have turned my back on Him for some empty, harmful temptation. He displays His love for me when He gives me strength for the day, guidance for the path ahead, and clarity in the moments of confusion.
In witnessing a relationship between a father and a toddler I glimpse the nature of God’s love. The toddler runs, trips, falls, and cries. He snatches whatever is within reach and breaks it. He leaves a mess and a trail of crumbs wherever he goes. He refuses what he needs, throwing a fit for that which will only bring him harm. There wouldn’t be much hope for him if he had to earn the right to be love. But he doesn’t, as his father loves him just for who he is. He treasures him more than the little boy will ever be able to understand. This is the way our Father loves us.
God’s love for us is sweet, it is powerful, it is gentle, it is magnificent. God’s love for us is pure and simple; and I think it is for this reason that my mind is too weak to comprehend it. But despite our lack of understanding, our lack of deserving, maybe even our lack of desire, His love is a free gift we need only receive. How great is our God.
Marin Dolenc is an 18-year-old intern serving a three-month mission in Lima, Peru, alongside ministry partner Wilma Grandez. Serving directly within a local school and neighborhood ministry, Marin helps lead kindergarten classes, teaches English, and assists with weekly kids' Bible studies. She writes regularly about stepping past fear into faith, relying on God’s strength through language barriers, and witnessing the tangible, sacrificial love of Christ through the people of Lima.
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